Health Services

Organ Recovery - Donor & Recipient Correspondence

Guidelines for Writing to your Donor Family

The Donor Letter

"My donor letter was one of the hardest things I've ever had to write"… an organ recipient

Finding just the right words to express to someone your sincere gratitude for their generous consent to "The Gift of Life," knowing that they have lost and you have gained, is very difficult.

The special bond that forms immediately between donor families and the recipients of organ and tissues often goes unspoken due to the sensitive nature of the gift. However, closure for both donor families and recipients can be gently facilitated through these very special letters.

We encourage you to take advantage of this unique opportunity to personally thank your donor family and express your condolence to them for their loss. Think of writing your donor family's letter, as a unique experience to send a heartfelt message of gratitude to a family who cared enough to make a difference in someone else's life.

The correspondence should be family-driven. It may be a one-direction, one-time letter of thanks or it could evolve into a series of reciprocal letters between donor family and recipients. Each relationship will be unique.

Anonymity

We offer donor families the opportunity to save a life through organ donation while their identity remains anonymous. Each family's loss is personal. How the family copes with their loss may determine their receptiveness to correspondence with recipient families. Our intention in encouraging donor and recipient correspondence is to provide support to families through the grieving process. Therefore, we initially limit correspondence to an anonymous format.

Content of Letter

Include any information that might help the donor family learn more about you.

  • Use your first name or nickname only, do not include your last name.
  • If you choose to omit your first name, simply sign: a grateful recipient, liver recipient, friend, etc.
  • Your age and gender.
  • Your family situation such as marital status, children or grandchildren.
  • Your hobbies or interest.
  • Your job or occupation. (Do not mention your employer's name or recognizable status or position.)
  • Do not include your address, city or state, as one never knows where a donor family lives and we want to respect their privacy and honor the confidentiality we have promised them.
  • Address the letter "Dear Donor Family."
  • Recognize the donor families gift and thank them for this gift.
  • Explain what has happened in your life since your transplant. (Did you return to school, accept a new job, have children travel?)
  • Your current physical condition.
  • If you are open to future correspondence from the donor family, you should include this statement in your letter. This does not guarantee the donor family will reciprocate your request, however, they may be more aware that this is a possibility.
  • Since the religion of the donor family is unknown, please consider this if you include religious comments.
  • Other family members may, if they choose, include their own letter to the donor family.
  • This letter will more than likely be read and shared with many donor family members. Care should be considered in regards to the amount of negative information included. Even though the outcomes of some transplants are not as successful as others, this does not diminish the gift. We are still indebted to these gracious donor families whose intentions were to unselfishly save a life.
  • Think ahead regarding time sensitive correspondence (holidays, anniversary of donor's death, ect.)